It was memorial day weekend. We were driving home from Tampa. Husband's stepbrother had just gotten married that weekend. We were veterans, having been married for all of 6 weeks. We thought we would throw caution to the wind and throw out the birth control and condoms...I mean, we'd been together for almost five years. We got this. Right. My ass.
I never thought I would be here. I never thought that I'd have 3 miscarriages, multiple surgeries, and failed fertility treatments and almost five years later. Yet here I am. What am I supposed to do? My heart is broken. My husbands heart is broken. What can I do to fix it?
Husband and I have to have a very long talk about adoption vs. IVF vs. house. I'm not sure what we'll agree on. This does not decide the fate of our marriage. I love him more than I can say. He wants a child. I want a child. We just have to decide how we're going to bring home our baby.
I never thought I would be here. I never thought that I'd have 3 miscarriages, multiple surgeries, and failed fertility treatments and almost five years later. Yet here I am. What am I supposed to do? My heart is broken. My husbands heart is broken. What can I do to fix it?
Husband and I have to have a very long talk about adoption vs. IVF vs. house. I'm not sure what we'll agree on. This does not decide the fate of our marriage. I love him more than I can say. He wants a child. I want a child. We just have to decide how we're going to bring home our baby.
These damn broken hearts. I keep adding more super glue to mine every month, but inevitably, it just shatters again. Sending you boatloads of glue & hugs, girl!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your talk, for us it narrowed our pathway some and made me feel better knowing we had to be on the same road. (Even though I was disappointed) I know you two will figure out a great plan.
Kind of frustrating to think back to how hopeful and naive we all were in the beginning, right? I was worried my wedding dress wouldn't fit because I'd be pregnant....XOXO
Looking back I thought Matt and I had such a great plan, married,grad school, start trying and bam prego. Ha wow so naive but I think I was naive because I had seen so many people go through that order and voila baby. We haven't had that talk as much as where we go if things don't progress, maybe I'm just holding onto hope that things work out. *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteThings never do go the way we planned... I am right there with you in the same boat. Pretty much exactly- we know we want (is "need" too strong a word?) a baby and now we just need to figure out how. It is beyond sad and scary- there just are not words for it all. *HUGS*
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