Bottling up time

Do you ever have those days where you want to bottle up your feelings of love and appreciation and just generally feeling special?  Yeah. Yesterday was one of those days for me.  Husband and I set out on a project to paint our master bathroom.  Our bathroom is not very big, but Husband was sweating and I think we unlocked some pretty serious DIY skills in his catalog.  It took him all of two hours to paint, but I felt so special.  This is my Christmas gift. 

Very vanilla, no?

All the same color

All put together!

 So that's my new bathroom.  We still have to get a new vanity, but we just didn't have the extra cash flow.  One thing at a time, yes?

So I still very much feel like I want to bottle up my time with Husband.  We're in a good place.  I'm not afraid of IVFest 2014, but I'm feeling apprehensive.  I'm scared I'm going to be crazy and we'll fight.  Fertility drugs make me crazy, but Husband says he can't think of a time where he's had to walk away....there is that, I guess  I want things to remain calm and collected. 

I feel like I'm about to walk off a cliff without being sure of the bottom.  Has anyone else felt that way?  I wish there some guarantees in life.

Anyhow...that's how I feel.  If I don't speak with you, Merry Christmas to you and yours, computer friends.  Xoxo

Sunshine

I've been nominated for a Sunshine aware by one of my favorite bloggers.  I feel so special *blush*.  I won't use her name because honestly, I'm not gonna put someone out there like that. But go give her some love at Hidden.  I read her blog and look forward to her comments so much.  Muchas gracias for the nomination!  <3

Here are her questions:

1.  What are the top 3 things on your bucket list?

• Watch a Red Sox game at Fenway
• See all of the lighthouses on the East coast
• Make it to wine country in Cali

 2.  Post 5 of your wedding pictures (that's more of a command, btw).  Ok..so a note before my wedding pictures:  I was 50 pounds heavier and forgot to wax my eyebrows.  You have been warned.

My uncle T walking me down the aisle

The cake!  We each had one bite...one.

He wanted to shove cake in my face.  My answer was hell no

So we like cigars

My brother in law, giving his toast

3.  If you could change your name what would you change it to (first and/or last)?

• That's the thing.....my last name is cool.  I wouldn't change.  It's an animal that howls at the moon.  Awwwwwwooooooooooo!

4.  If you were stuck on a deserted island and could have 5 things, what would they be?

• A toothbrush
• Toothpaste (seriously, dental hygiene is important)
• Andrew
• My digi cam, I need pics
•  Lotion (both sun and regular.  I have lizard skin.  That  counts as one.  I have lizard skin. Don't judge)

 5.  What is the happiest moment in your life so far?  My wedding day  *tear*

6.  What are your pet peeves?  Something or things that really make you squirm?  I absolutely hate it when people lick their fingers instead of using the napkin provided.  Also, please don't touch your eyes.  Gross.  Please do not jiggle the seat when sitting down, you're just pissing me off

7.  What is your biggest fear, besides not getting pregnant or having kids?  Dying before I know my kid(s)

8.  Did you ever have a nightmare date and/or break up with a non-serious boyfriend?  (Someone with whom you dated but not seriously.)  I'm boring, so no.  Husband is my third boyfriend.  I mean.....it only took three tries to find perfection (ha..ha..ha)

9.  What do you think is the biggest problem in the world today?  There is not middle ground.  You're either conservative or liberal.  You either support this or not.  The world is not black and white.  There has to be room for both sides to hear each other.  Don't even get me started on politics.  Don't.even.

10.  Describe your dream vacation.  I'm not picky.  I want my husband there, a beach has to be involved.  No boats since I get super seasick.  Are drinks with umbrellas involved?  I want that please.


So.  That's my list.  I'm supposed to pick other bloggers to receive this award, but if I'm being honest, I'm way too lazy for that.  If you're reading this and I follow you........you have received this award.  I'm also to come up with questions, but I'm just going to pick what I've been asked.  If it's all the same to you, keep it moving forward.

Smooches!

Date results

We jumped straight into it.  Had a nice chat with a new nurse who asked why we were there.  Umm.  Seriously?  To have a kid, duh.  Visited with Dr. R who got all up and personal with an ultrasound and regular exam.  No, I haven't checked for ovulation in the last year...but I mean, my boobs hurt every month.  Doesn't that count for something?  Bad infertile, bad, bad.  I thought I didn't HAVE to check for ovulation.  We are also good candidates for ICSI, which amazes Husband.  Our baby to be, the little science experiment.

Husband and I both had blood work done, all has come back fine so far.  He had an analysis done, his boys are fine.  I had a camera shoved up into my innards to show that there is no scar tissue in the uterus.  My only thought during the whole procedure was 'Wow, it really is all pink inside."  Completely inappropriate.  It was such a weird, crampy experience.  Later that night we went to an IVF seminar in which a heavily accented doctor explained the IVF process.  Most of it I already knew, but I did not know that ICSI was discovered by accident.  Did y'all know that?  I think ICSI is kinda cool. 

We still have some finances to figure out.  Even though insurance will cover most of the procedure, we'll still need to come up with copays and money for drugs.  I'm not sure yet what my protocol will be as I'm on cycle day 8.  We're waiting on cycle day 2 labs, so that will be after the first of the year.  At least I get to enjoy the holidays.

How do I feel? For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful that we'll have a baby.  It felt strange being back in the office, I had a little bit of anxiety.  So many emotions, such little time.  I leave you with pictures of how we do Christmas, Aayla cat is the bonus.  Bottoms up for a blastocyst!