Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Bottling up time

Do you ever have those days where you want to bottle up your feelings of love and appreciation and just generally feeling special?  Yeah. Yesterday was one of those days for me.  Husband and I set out on a project to paint our master bathroom.  Our bathroom is not very big, but Husband was sweating and I think we unlocked some pretty serious DIY skills in his catalog.  It took him all of two hours to paint, but I felt so special.  This is my Christmas gift. 

Very vanilla, no?

All the same color

All put together!


 So that's my new bathroom.  We still have to get a new vanity, but we just didn't have the extra cash flow.  One thing at a time, yes?

So I still very much feel like I want to bottle up my time with Husband.  We're in a good place.  I'm not afraid of IVFest 2014, but I'm feeling apprehensive.  I'm scared I'm going to be crazy and we'll fight.  Fertility drugs make me crazy, but Husband says he can't think of a time where he's had to walk away....there is that, I guess  I want things to remain calm and collected. 

I feel like I'm about to walk off a cliff without being sure of the bottom.  Has anyone else felt that way?  I wish there some guarantees in life.

Anyhow...that's how I feel.  If I don't speak with you, Merry Christmas to you and yours, computer friends.  Xoxo
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2 comments:

  1. HeidiDecember 18, 2013 at 8:12 PM

    It's amazing what just a little paint can do! I love the new look in your bathroom. And your attitude!! Merry Christmas my friend!

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  2. step-weezyDecember 18, 2013 at 9:05 PM

    Love the new look.

    Most days at some point I feel a little bit of that "off the cliff" sensation. I try to remember the mantra from "Dune" by Frank Herbert, that goes something like this: "Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear, letting it pass over and through me, not seeking to hold on to it, and when it has passed on only I will remain, stronger." Truth is, this is also how I deal with moments of pain or grief. I allow myself to experience them as they come, not trying to hide from them, but also not clinging to them or wrapping myself in them. I let them come and go, and when they have gone on I still remain, stronger.

    I have long seen in you a reserve of inner strength, whether or not you see it yourself, and thus I know that come what may you will come through. Will it be exactly as you wish, in all ways? Probably not, since such seldom happens in this life. But as with fear or grief, disappointment too can be allowed to flow through and past us if we will let it go, and once it has you will find that you remain, stronger, for the experience.

    May your path ahead be blessed in all the ways possible.

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