I'm sweating, how about you?

First of all, it's hot as balls here in Florida.  I can only imagine what the summer's going to be like.  This is how I spend the months of May-October:

• Hurry to the car, blast AC the whole drive
• Find a good parking space.  A good space is designated by shade.  
• Hurry inside, repeat the procedure when leaving.
• Hurry from the apartment, to the pool.  Dunk myself immediately, swim for a bit.
• Lay out as long as I can stand it, then go dunk again.
• Hydrate.  Never underestimate the value of water.

Husband and I met with a lawyer today concerning my sister's estate.  Things seem to be turning out well, it's nice to get confirmation that I'm handling things the proper way. 

The lawyer happens to be an old family friend. She knew my husband and his brother when they were teenagers and she happens to specialize in estates and probates.  She's super cool.  She also knows non profit agencies and lawyers that specialize in international adoption.  Drool.  DROOL!  I've already purchased some books about international adoption, but OMG, I'm so excited!  We're not ready yet to go completely in, but it was like a light went off in my head and I heard a big fat yesssssssssssssssssssssss.  I'm going to research it more before I give my final say, but I think this may be the direction we decide to go in.  What do y'all think?


Husband's yuck was in the shop today.  It apparently has a cracked hose, which is leaking coolant.  I was honestly hoping it was the kiss of death.  His yuck (truck) is old.  It's gross.  So what else did we do?  We went looking at cars.  All I'm sayin is that I like Mazda 3s.  They're fun, sporty little cars and I can zip right around in them.  Alas, we're getting the damn hose replaced.  No new car for me.  .

Tomorrow is my pool day!! 

In return

One of my husband's employees is due to have a baby girl in three weeks.  Employee told me today that he and his girlfriend haven't had a baby shower, just due to scheduling.  I assumed they didn't have much for baby girl and took it upon myself to raid Targ.et.  So umm..a lot of money later they have outfits,  diapers, stuffed animals, socks (even the ones that look like they're shoes!), bath stuff and burpee blankets.  I figure I can live vicariously, right?  Right.  Let's just hope Husband doesn't look at the bank account until the next round of statements comes out (not likely, heh).

Tonight made me think about how much time, money and effort I've spent on my friends and family's babies.  HOLY EFFING HELL, it's got to be a lot.  I'm a person that can't do a little, I've got to do a lot.  Maybe I'm making up for what I don't have, I don't know.  Baby stuff is so effin cute.  All I'm sayin is that when I have/adopt a kiddo, I better get some babysitting or clothes in return!  Shiiiiiiiiittt. 

Just thought I'd share.

The Struggle

So even though I'm not actively trying to get pregnant, I find that I'm still super envious of pregnant women.  Any announcement annoys me.  The fact that the Snook is pregnant really pisses me off, and it's for no justifiable reason.  I'm trying to be logical about this, but I want a baby.  Our baby.  I want our baby to be here already.  Damn.it.

It's not lost upon me that my five year wedding anniversary is three weeks away.  Five fantastic years with my husband.  Five years trying to have a baby.  That is a long time y'all.  Super long.  I can't see the end of my journey at all.  It's not even on the horizon.  Shit.

We decided this week to sort of hold off on the house until we figure out the life insurance situation.  If we can put 20% down and avoid government loans and PMI, our realtor said we'd be looking at significant long term savings.  So that's good.  I can spend more time at the pool or beach, working on a tan.  Is it warm everywhere?  Can everyone up north go to the pool now? We should have pool days.

I've discovered Draw Something.  Holy eff, that's addictive.  I'm horrible at it, but it's so much fun!  Do any of y'all play?

That's all for now.  Chat soon!  <3

Picky picky

Husband and I go look at another batch of houses tomorrow. Looking for houses was so much more fun when I wasn't seriously looking. I'm really picky, not just about houses, everything. For example, I'm picky about how much sauce is on my pizza. If lettuce is hanging over the border of my crust, it is torn off and not eaten. You can imagine how house hunting is going.

In other news, one of my favorite bloggers has disappeared. I won't say why, its not my place. But if you're out there, Eggs, you are missed. Please come back soon.

Husband and I are going to take next week off from house hunting. His truck (yuck) needs to spend the day at the spa. I need to spend the day at the pool or beach.

Anyway, this is my update. I'm almost, not really, caught up on your blogs. This week, I promise. Pinky promise.

Forgetful blogger

Gah!  Guys, I'm so sorry!  I've turned into a horrible bloggy friend, I know.  I miss you all, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, I swear.  Pinky swear.  I pinky swear that I will catch up on my commenting and posting.  If it makes any difference, in the last week I've:

• lost my cell phone about 4 million times
• successfully lost my badge to get into my work
• Lost and found my Brighton bracelet
• Misplaced and located my checkbook, which was in my purse, right where I left it.

I've been nothing but scatter brained.

Update on the house hunt:  We found a house that we loved loved loved in a neighborhood that we loved loved loved, but it's 45 minutes from my job.  That's on a good day with no traffic.  It's only 15 minutes from my husband's job, which is awesome.  The house reminded me of my home in Atlanta, which is a good thing.  We decided to pass on it though. I didn't want to drive 45 minutes (possibly an hour with traffic) to work, not to mention the fact that it was a short sale and we couldn't cover all of the closing costs.  Note:  Short sales are crazy present in Florid-uh. 

Update on the sister situation:  She had life insurance, I am the beneficiary (woot).  I have to wait 16 weeks (possibly more) from the date of the autopsy results for the cause of death.  Hopefully, she didn't commit suicide and the life insurance money will come through. 

So knowing that life insurance money may be possibly on the way, we're looking at adoption a little more closely.  I've always had my reservations about IVF and, quite honestly,  the driving force behind fertility treatments has always been Husband. For the time being, IVF is huge step that I'm not sure I'm ready to take. 

Adoption sounds much more appealing.  I know it's not without it's trials and tribulations, but damn.  I want a baby.  I don't care if my baby is Asian, African American or whatever. I will love that child like my own, because they will be my own.  Make sense?

We're trying to not get ahead of ourselves.  Things may change. 

Anyway, I miss y'all.  Tons.  Super mega tons.  <3

The house hunt

First an Easter egg hunt, now a house hunt. I'm all about the hunts, what can I say?  We looked at a few houses last week and are getting set for a new round of houses this week.  Last week I learned a few things:

• I am picky
• My standards of clean seem to be too high for others to meet
• Husband is not as picky

All the houses we saw were foreclosures.  The first one was a farce, it was listed as a 3/2, but it was really a 2/2.  Lies.  It also had woodrot.  It was overpriced, in my opinion.  The second house was a 3/2, 1600 sq feet. New renovations and stuff, but it's 45 mins from Husband's work and it's also a house that others were bidding over.  I'm not getting into a bidding war, especially when the house is worth 10 grand less than what the current price is.  You feel me?  The third house was ok, but it didn't have a garage.  The garage had been converted into an in law suite.  We want a garage for my car and so we can set up Husband's drums.  I'm sure our future neighbors will love it in mid-afternoon!

So the hunt continues this week.  I emailed our realtor seven houses, but we'll see how many actually get a contract before we look at them.  Such is life in central Florid.uh!

Hey y'all!

I don't know quite where to begin. It would be overstating the facts if I said my life had been turned upside down. It would be understating the facts if it hadn't been turned upside down.  I'm somewhere in the middle.  I won't pretend that Sister and I were close, we were anything but.  She had many problems since my mother died and I grew up and away from her.  The guilt over the situation will be forever with me.  My sister died on February 27th at 625pm, the day before her 39th birthday.  I'll give you the rundown of events from that evening.

• February 27th 745pm EST:  One of our mutual friends calls to tell me that Sister was found dead in her apartment. I immediately suspect suicide, but I have no details. I'm completely going on hunches.
• 800pm EST: I call my uncle that raised me from 13 on. I call him to find out wtf am I supposed to do.  He does not answer.
• 845pm EST:  Uncle finally calls me back, we're both dumbfounded.  Sister is dead?!  She was only 38.  WTF are we/I supposed to do?
• 930pm EST:  Pittsburgh medical examiner calls me.  Official notification that Sister is gone.  I call my uncle, he touches base with the medical examiner first.  I absolutely have to call them since I am the sole remaining immediate family member.  I am scared. Our parents died in 1989 and 1994, I can barely remember them.  How am I dealing with this at 30?  Holy shit.
• 945pm EST:  I call the medical investigator, get and give the particulars.  Sister had a cat that went with animal control.  Legally speaking, I now own Kitten.  Shit.  I am also told by the medical investigator that I have the option of relinquishing rights to Sister's remains.  Holy shit.
•  February 28th, 1030am:  Medical examiner calls during the autopsy.  Kitten has found a home with one of Sister's friends. Medical examiner does not suspect suicide (sigh of relief), but they do suspect an untreated infection.  Shit, Sister!  It's 2012, why didn't you go to the doctor!  Why aren't you here!
• March 1st, 430pm:  I finally find a funeral home and get in touch with the cemetery where our parents are buried.  Plans are made to cremate her remains and inter them with our parents.
• March 9th: Sister's remains are buried with our parents. 

So that bring us up to present day. I currently have to get a court order to get into her bank account and pay her remaining bills.  I did not have a service for her because, quite frankly, Husband and I cannot afford it. I would have loved to give her our traditional Catholic viewing, but that was not an option.  On top of that, her friends knew a very different side of her than I did.  I would prefer for it to remain that way.  I don't want to ruin any memories or thoughts they had of her.  I didn't want to have a service for her, listening to them tell their memories of her and think 'oh that wasn't true.'  and 'yeah, that never happened'.  My sister had a habit of telling tall tales to people.  It's not my intention to tarnish their thoughts of her.  I'll remember one person, they can remember the other. Fair?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I just don't know. I feel a little lost on that subject.

I hope I did the right thing by her.  I'm hoping she's at peace, the kind that she could not find during her life.  I will carry this guilt with me for the rest of my life. I will always feel like I didn't do enough to help her.

If you're wondering why cycle day it is, I have no idea.  My three month break may turn into a longer break. I'm not sure that I can deal with this grief along with the prospect of pregnancy.  This is just all too real and too hard.