Maybe Baby

It's weird when you see your own blastocyst.  We've seen pictures, but when it's YOURS, oh my.  My first thought was 'it's so cute' but then I caught myself and realized I've got to to be logical about this.  It's no bigger than a spec of dust.  All six of our embryos made it to the blastocyst state, which impressed the doctor.  The one we transferred was very hearty and will hopefully decide to stick around for the next 40 weeks or so.  Without further delay, here is MB (short for Maybe Baby):

MB,  please turn into a DB (definite baby)

So that's what we're workin with.  It's encouraging that the doctor was impressed with MB, my lining, our embryo quality.  She even mentioned that Husband was handsome (umm, duh.  He's MY husband).  Encouraging is nice, but it's not a guarantee.  I'm kind of wishing I had a guarantee, but I'll take encouraging, for what it's worth.  If MB doesn't stick around, then we have five more blasties on ice.  Five more chances.

People have been asking how I'm feeling.  Ok, I guess.  Nervous.  Excited.  Crinone is disgusting, but I'm not going to go into it because not EVERYONE needs to know about my lady bits.  Mostly, I'm feeling really proud of myself, my husband, and our marriage.  I'm so proud that I made it through this with about as much sanity as when this whole thing started.

I was afraid of IVF for a long time.  Afraid of the shots, money, emotional distress...everything.  Yes, the shots suck donkey balls.  The side effects are not a walk in the park, especially at the end when everything piled up on me and I could barely work.  Yes, the money sucks, but keep your eyeballs on the prize (see MB).  You know what, though?  Having Husband with me, by my side, pushing me with every shot and holding me through every tear made this so much more bearable.  Infertility is a shit fest and it tests the best of marriages, ours included.  I'm not sure that we would have found out that our relationship is so strong without it, though.  Silver lining?  Definitely.

Anyway.  Thanks for letting me toot our horns, so to speak.   Beta is on March 7th.  Here's hoping MB is a sticky baby!! 

Xoxo