Happy belated holidays

Sorry I missed the holidays, but it's been a busy few days here in Weezy world.  My husband closed down Casa de Noodle on Christmas eve, we got up early on Christmas day to drive to south Florida.  It was a good day, but very busy.  Our baby niece arrived the day after Christmas, so that was pretty awesome.  We've been taking care of their animals while my brother in law and sister in law are in the hospital.  Good times, folks.  Good times.  Let's just say that I hate small dogs.

I'm not going to lie, computer friends.  It's been a hard couple of days for me.  My niece was born and that's GREAT...but I feel sort of....I don't even know how to describe it.  At first I was excited and happy, then a little sad that it wasn't us and now I just feel kind of numb. What upsets me most about this infertility crap tree is that my husband is not a father.  I cannot seem to give that gift to him.  I am disappointed in my uterus and ovaries...can I possibly trade them in for a model that actually works?

My January 10th appointment is not so rapidly approaching.  I'm writing down questions that I want to ask Dr. R.  Here's what I have so far:

1.)  Why doesn't Odette (my right ovary.  What?  You don't name your organs?) work anymore?  Can we replace her with one that does?

2.)  Can we up the ante with this last IUI?  New drugs?  I don't care how crappy they make me feel, hatch me a kid, puhleeze!

3.)  Should I be scared of IVF and all the injections?  Can you teach me how handle all of that?

4.)   Can my husband and I take a vacation in mid-April and not mess up this infertility schedule?  Have I mentioned that I need to have a baby like now? 

5.)  Can you hear my biological clock? Don't let it scare you.  I hear it all of the time.

Ok, so maybe the last one I won't include, but you get the idea. I'm positive this last IUI hoop that I have to jump through won't work, so I'm already looking ahead to IVF.  I cannot express how much I want a child. 

Also, today is cycle day 2.  For you non-infertile speakers, that translates to the following:  My period came yesterday and is trying to claw its way out of my body currently.  I suppose that I have the option of calling my clinic to start the last IUI, but I'm not doing that until I have a plan laid out in front of me. I'm a planner, a list keeper, an oraganizer.  I'm going nuts right now because I don't have a plan.

Anyway...that's the update.  Same old stuff, different day.  I'm going to go spend time with my friends the heating pad, Ty.lenol and my kittens.  :)