Leaving the station

Let's get the infertility stuff out of the way first, shall we?  I started Lupron today.  I find it to be uneventful, except for the shot being at 6 a-frickin-m, my tummy stinging after the shot, and stomach cramps through out the day.  So that's that.  Our train is choo chooing away to (hopefully) babyland.  Let's hope we don't go off the rails, k?

Our trip was faaaaaaabulous.  We found a neat little shop that sold infused balsamic vinegars, infused olive oils and weird salts.  Allow me to tell you that tangerine flavored and mango flavored balsamic vinegars are definitely not where it's at, but the dark chocolate flavored vinegar is so yummy.  SO YUMMY.  The nice thing is that there's an expansion store not 10 minutes from Husband's work (hint hint, babe).  What else...we had some tapas and witnessed a homeless person turf war.  It was weird.  We also saw Space.ghost, the green power ranger and the shake thing from aqua teen hunger force.  What do we call him?  Shake?  Does anyone know what I'm talking about?  Oh, and lights.  St. Auggie does this whole thing for the holidays, where they put up lights in the historic district.  Husband wanted to see the lights, so he saw lights.  It was so romantical!

Husband's birthday was on Thursday (33!!).  I made him cake, we went to see family and it was everything that we wanted.  Then on Friday we went back to work and blah.  Back to work.  Pics from our trip are below..and a little bonus!! 

Hope everyone is well.  For those of us still in the trenches, keep your head up.  You are not alone.  For those out of the trenches, please keep us in your thoughts and send out good vibes.  xoxo

Birthday mocha cake.  Yes, homemade icing and everything.

Murican cowboy, y'all

Spaceghost, green power ranger, and shake from the back.  Best I could get.

Our yummy tapas

My lion's bridge all lit up

Town square

Omg, I am under the treeeeees

The museum, all fabulous

Our selfie!

Today we are thankful..

.....for insurance.  I finally heard back from the finance team at my center.  Turns out insurance covers...oh, you know, EVERYTHING!!  It covers ICSI, genetic testing, and even three months of cryopreservation.  I thought my deductible was $2,000...no, it's $150.  So we'll pay our deductible, and honestly, I'm expecting a bill for at least 10% of the procedure.  Everything that I can find online states that after my deductible is met, my insurance will cover 90% of the procedure and that my out of pocket maximum cannot exceed $1500.  The coverage was verified by my center for a second time today, and they stated I don't have to pay anything.  SOOOOOOOOOOO THANKFUL!!

I found out today that I'm eligible for reimbursement for the medications as well.  My prescription plan covers a lifetime maximum of $5,000 for infertility medicines.  And here I thought I knew my coverage well!

So all of that puts this show on the road. Husband is excited, I'm nervous. I wish I could fast forward to the 27th and start the shots. Let's get it going!

Hope everyone had a good weekend! Stay out of the snow, if you can. I'll post pics from our trip when we get back!

Xoxo

Things just got real

We had our final IVF consult last Thursday.  I am still waiting to hear from the finance department....turns out they're in training until tomorrow.  I am annoyed, but what can you do?  I will just call them twice a day until I speak with an actual person, not a voicemail.  Ugg.

So it turns out my crappy ovaries are good for something...bargains.  Because of my PCOS, I should require less medication than the average infertile bear.  Instead of spending three to four thousand on medication, we only spent $1900.  Joy.  On the baseline ultrasound, I had 11 follicles on my right ovary and 9 on my left.  I started birth control on the 5th this month.  So far it has made me feel exhausted, given me acne, and a small but constant headache.  I thought birth control was supposed to get rid of acne?  Maybe I just have bad skin?

Next Thursday is Husband's birthday and we are off for most of the week.  Festivities will include a quick trip up to St. Aug.ust.ine, a tag renewal, a day with family, then birthday dinner with friends.  We are excited and are looking forward to a little break.  This is our last treat to ourselves before IVF begins, which will hopefully result in a hatchling being hatched.  Speaking of treats, we had to buy  a new washer.  We'll just hemorrhage money, what the hell, right?

On the 24th, I go for my baseline E2 (estrogen check) and then on the 27th I'll start Lupron.  Five days after that, menopur joins the party, and we top it off with some Gonal F (aka the mindfuck drug).  We'll throw in an antibiotic for both Husband and myself, since we cannot afford to get sick during this process.  At the height of the protocol, I will have Lupron, Menopur, and the antibiotic in the morning, with Gonal F for dessert.  It's a little exhausting to think about since most of these are shots.  Right now, I don't have an exact date for retrieval.  Dr. R is going to monitor my E2 and ultrasounds closely to avoid any hyperstimulation.  We're shooting for mid February, possibly earlier if I respond well.

I've read some horror stories about retrieval...that it's painful, you get super bloated and can't put pants on, that it's difficult to umm...poo.  I'm not sure what to think, but I am NOT reading anymore.  No.  None.  It scares me too much.  I'll have a prescription for Vicodin, but progestorone shots starts the night of retrieval.  I heard those hurt like a mutha.  Wait, did I say no more worrying?  I meant that three sentences ago.

The drugs arrived today, early in the morning.  It is weird to look in the fridge and see Lupron and Gonal F right next to the milk and eggs.  Ironically, next to the eggs...HA!  I had a dream last night that I took an egg carton to the retrieval process...it seemed reasonable at the time, ok.  Having the drugs ready and waiting is making this shit real.  Really real. 

Can we whisk these all together and MAGIC, an embryo appears?

 

 

So that's where we are at this moment in time.  Until next time, kiddos.  Go have a drink for me.

XOXO

Change of plans

I speak to you now from under a heater at a salon. Gray hair,  people. I have tons.   I like a science experiment, so there will be no pictures.

So remember how I said the final ivf consultation was going to be February 4th? The office called with the news that a spot opened up for January 9th. Tomorrow! Yay? I'm nervous. Nervous that we won't be able to pay for this, nervous that Dr. R won't be able to figure out the measurements,  or that I'll screw something up with the drugs.

I had a great cry yesterday afternoon on my poor husband. He says I'm snowballing the situation and we'll figure it out. He's right (don't tell him).  I just wish that there was some guarantee in all this. Oy. The train sped up, just like I asked. Be careful what you wish for.

I'm off to be washed and waxed. Xoxo

An ultrasound, bad broccoli and the possibility of a dead squirrel. And most definitely a unicorn.

The results are in and...drum roll please.......... we are not pregnant.  Wait.  Not that drum roll....this drum roll........ Cycle day two labs are all normal AND I got to have an ultrasound that wasn't even necessary after waiting for thirty minutes.  It was so wonderful and cold in that office, but in the plus column there was a pretty aquatic scene to look at as I was wanded.  Take me away, fishies, take me away!

Also in the plus column was an awful smell that greeted patients as they walked in.  No one was asking, so I asked the receptionist (loudly) "What died".  I'm not exactly known for my tact.  She said she had heard a squirrel running around in the walls on Thursday and wasn't sure if he got out...y'all, she was dead serious.  Someone floated the idea of a fumigator, but the crisis was averted.  Turns out an employee had left broccoli in the fridge to go bad over the weekend.  Squirrel's death was never confirmed or denied, so I'm assuming it's still a possibility.  I'll be sure to update you after my next visit.

So what's next?  Birth control.  People who are not on this infertile trip in hell...I mean, path,  may wonder why birth control is a necessary.  Here's the deal:  The BC pills shut down my hormones and allow the doctors to get control of them.  After that, we have our final consultation in which Dr. R measures how far in he has to go to implant the hatchling.  This measurement is detected by a catheter and from what I understand, it's a painless procedure, but I have to have a full bladder for it.  Joy. 

Our final IVF consult is scheduled for February 4th, which means I get to be on TWO packs of BC, instead of one.  I will skip my February period and go straight into egg producing drugs which will hopefully be retrieved sometime late February or early March.  After that I switch to some other drugs to help me build up a good and healthy lining of the uterus, which will be a nice, comfy home for an embryo or two.  There are a few other sprinklings of hormones to help make estrogen and progesterone, all that are necessary for baby sustenance. 

If this works on the first whirl, I may not have a period for a year and that sounds AAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!  Could you imagine?  I can't. 

So the road is moving, even if a little bit slowly for my tastes.  I'm working on visualizing Husband and I with a baby, seeing myself pregnant, tired, and loving it.  I just have to find a little faith, which has been in short supply for the better part of my life.

Stay warm, people.  Xoxo

Stepping off the cliff

Sooooooooooooooo.  Cycle day one has arrived on time..yay!  Tomorrow I become a human pin cushion, but have thankfully avoided another ultrasound.  There's just something about having the wand jammed none too gently, without asking please or saying thank you, all up in my junk at 730 in the morning.  It really doesn't set the day off right.  Am I wrong, computer friends?

 Anyhow..we still have to sort out with the financial adviser just how much we're going to be paying out of pocket.  I fully expect to have to pay for the drugs out of pocket and possibly another $2,000 just for copays and so forth.  We shall see (donations are welcome.  I'm only half kidding).  I am filled with butterflies at the moment and lots of what ifs, but we all know that big events are not my scene and that Husband is really the big event guy.  I will be busy clucking around, making sure I can take our money pit cat to the vet if she needs to go AND pay for IVF.  Shit.  How did this work for other people?  Shit.

Now, that all that has been said, let's backtrack to the holidays.  They were nice.  Good visits with in laws, happy second birthday to our niece, and some frickin awesome food cooked by Husband.  New Years eve was quiet, as we had just wrapped up a four day extravaganza with my in laws and Husband had to be at the Taco early for inventory.  We both worked on the first, his was mandatory and mine was voluntary for some extra cash. I did, however, ring in the holiday with a migraine that made me sick to my stomach, but hell.  What can ya do?   The new year began with the fabulous news that Husband has been promoted from an assistant manager at the Taco, and is now a general manager at another local Taco.  I am so immensely proud of my husband for achieving his goal in the first quarter.  He continues to amaze me by being the loving, strong, smarty pants man that he is.  *kiss*

Painting the master bathroom has awakened a paint happy fairy in me, and I have endeavors to paint our guest bathroom (white with black accessories) and an accent wall in our living room (the color we picked was brown, but is named soul chocolate).  Walls have yet to be painted, and we still have yet to undeck the halls.  What?  Don't judge me.

I leave you with my sole picture from Christmas.  We are in south FL at Husband's stepmother's, relaxing with some pre dinner (and possibly post dinner) drinks.  Until next time, my friends.  Keep us in your thoughts and send good vibes our way and know that we are doing the same for you.  XOXO