The Birth Story

Ok, so.  Abby's birth story goes a little something like this:

March 3rd:  We check in to the hospital right at shift change.  Joy.  I had one nurse for a total of 15 minutes, then my day shift nurses (there were two) came in, introduced themselves and one proceeded to shove cervidil (cervix ripening agent, for those that don't know) up in to my nether regions.  We got the show on the road at 915, give or take.  They tell me after the insertion that I have to stay in bed for two hours to make sure the cervidil stays in place...Great.  Not like I have to pee or anything. 

So we sit...we wait, we walk around the unit.  I'm terribly disappointed I haven't heard anyone in labor scream. There's word that there's a woman in complete natural labor, so there is hope yet (I did eventually hear her scream).  Some mild cramps start, nothing major. I've had worse periods.  It feels like a lot of hurry up and wait. I watch some bad TV while husband keeps himself occupied:

He had a bad cold. And it was boring in the beginning.

It gets to be around 3pm, Husband leaves to come back home and check on the cat menagerie.  That's when the cramps started to get real.  Like, really real. I couldn't sit in bed, couldn't bounce on the ball, all I could do was just pace around in a circle.  While husband is gone, I ask for some anti nausea meds.  When the nurse comes in and sees me, she decided to check and see what was happening with the cervedil.  Turns out I was dilated to 3cm and was officially in labor.  I wasn't supposed to be in labor just yet, apparently this med throwing me into labor was rare and this is, according the nurse "Great".  Whatever, lady.  Get me my damn epidural right damn now. By this time, Husband has returned. I apparently caused some damage when I squeezed his hand during a contraction.  Listen, it's not my fault he left his wedding ring on and gave me his whole hand to squeeze.  Even now, over a week later, he's still only giving me three fingers to hold.  I think I traumatized him.

I get the epi..and all of a sudden, I don't hate every single person in the world anymore.  The night shift comes on, gives me an ambien..I can rest.  This is delightful.  Around two in the morning, I roll over and feel a pop pop with a slight trickle.  Did I just pee myself?  It's not out of the realm of possibility.  I roll back over and realize that my water just broke and it is every.where.  Not a good look.  It's around this time that the epidural stops working.  Yes..stops working.  Natural child birth was not in my plan. Not even close.  The nurse is confused, says I shouldn't be in this much pain.  Anesthesia comes in, gives me a little more epidural medicine. It works for exactly five  minutes.  Finally around 10am, they replace the epidural and all is again right with the world. 

We're good until four or five in the afternoon.  Then I start feeling a lot pressure, the urge to push is intense. It feels like I have to take the biggest poo in the world, but nurses are telling me no, no. Don't bear down.  Oooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkk, then don't complain when I'm moaning and groaning because this uncomfy, yo.  Finally I get to 9, super close to 10cm and we start pushing.  I push for an hour and a half.  There's barely any progression of Abby.  The nurse tells me it's probably going to be three more hours of pushing.  Say what? 

That's when I threw in the towel. I had been up since two, had two epidurals, and was exhausted. I know my body, I know my limits. There was no way I could push for three more hours.  I commend the women that can do that, it was just not going to happen for me.  I'm rolled into an OR, bright lights are shone down upon me, Husband is in a blue smock.  There's some tugging, there's some pulling and all of a sudden, my world is forever changed with our daughter's cry.  I heard the nurses say "oh, she is pissed" and Husband says "Babe, she's got a full head of hair!  10 fingers 10 toes!"  While they're cleaning Abby up, I hear the nurses and doctor say that I made the right choice. Abby was head down, but was turned and not lined up in the birth canal.  I wouldn't have been able to get her out no matter how long I pushed. 

So here are some things I learned while in labor/c sectioning:

• Be your own advocate.  Several times, I had nurses discount my pain level and I deferred to them.  They know how this goes better than me right?  Listen, you want pain medicine, you get pain medicine. You want more ice chips, get the damn ice chips.

• Tell your husband to either take off his wedding ring or give you his right hand to hold, otherwise you will hurt him.
•  Every single part of your body will be sore after labor.  Your lady bits will be...flappy and swollen.  Take any meds they give you and learn to love a diaper with ice in it.  
• After a c section, you will be in bed for about 24 hours.  You will feel like your abdomen has just been fileted open, and it has been. Take it easy getting up the first time. 
• Once you're home, you will want to be super independent and do everything yourself.  Stop yourself. You've just had major abdominal surgery that resulted in a small child.  Let your husband pick up the slack, just like he's been doing for the last 9 months.  

That's the advice that I can think of so far.  I'm sure more will come. For now, though, I leave you with a couple of pictures that take my breath away:

Heart melted

Goaalllllllllllll

 

Xoxo.  From Abby and I!