Happy Almost-giving!

I know.  It's been five months since my last post.  In my defense, life has been a little upended. I'm not that multi-tasking girl.  I'm slightly OCD and a little controlling, so please excuse the absence.   The short version of the update, madams and sirs:

July:  We get a new car (I have the flu), my Mazda 3.  She is grey and sexxxaaaaaaay.  Her name is Mazy.
August:  We find and bid on a house.  We get said bid and jump through a fair amount of hoops for this cutie, but it's ours.  Husband and I are happy, but cats are ecstatic to have their space. 
September 19th (Talk like a Pirate Day):  Arrgggg..we are homeowners, maties. 
October 2nd:  We move into the house whilst I have the flu for the second time.

Note to y'all:  Moving is hellatious, but if you move with the flu you will feel like you are dying and you will want someone to put you out of your misery.  Husband and a good friend moved all the stuff, I moved the cats and laid in our new bed in our new-to-us house. 

So I guess that brings us up to current status.  We have unpacked and are hanging things on walls (Omg, OUR WALLS).  We're starting to decorate for the holidays, but I've skipped over Thanksgiving and moved right on to Christmas.  My dad always refused to put up Christmas lights, so Husband is putting up lights on the house.  It will be my first house with Christmas lights ever.  I know it's a little thing, but it makes me so super happy.  Christmas lights!  I always wanted them.

We have not moved further on adoption other than talking about it in theory.  I know I said I didn't want to do IVF, but I've been kicking around the idea in my head.  I have insurance coverage for it and savings, so why not?  Part of me says go for it, but I'm not sure I'd survive another loss..maybe I'd go off the deep end and not come back.  Broken hearts can only break so much.  I only mentioned it to Husband today, and he made it clear the decision sits squarely on my shoulders.  Do I want to jump into this with my body?  Do I want to test my marriage yet again?  Shall I stretch our finances much more?  So much to think about. 

As to why I've had such a long absence..Let's be honest, my loves.  You're pregnant?  I'm jealous and pissed off.  The bigger part of me is happy for you.  I know that every pregnancy for the IF community is a triumph, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.  Does that make me a bad person, less of a person?  Yeah, maybe.  But if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

My computer friends, please let me know how you are.  I've been lurking, but I want to hear from you.  All my love.

<3 <3 <3